one for me, two for you

haiku wednesday

stay focused, self. do

what you love, love it too. make

cake pops this weekend...

You can go your own waaaaaayyyyy...

I grew up with an ex-hippie mother, like the kind where my parents actually met on a commune, grew their own food, and birthed my brother with a midwife on the farm.  Not that that has a WHOLE lot to do with this entry’s title, but she did listen to a lot of Fleetwood Mac, and…I dig ‘em.

Some time late last fall, I was on my evening commute home from work and came to the stoplight at 41^st and Sheridan.  You know the one that is notoriously long, and if you’re headed south, like I usually am, you end up sandwiched in between Home Depot and Night Trips?  Yeah, there. 

On this particular day, as I sat, indefinitely, with NPR in the background, something quite ordinary caught my eye: a flock of birds.  It was rather large, and seemed to be hovering right over the intersection.  What was not so ordinary was their flight pattern.  Have you ever noticed birds when they change directions?  Sharp turns with ripple effects that mimic a stream or school of fish almost seem non-directional.  It’s fascinating, even mesmerizing.

As I was caught up in watching this flock of birds flutter and flicker in the sky above me, my mind was taken up in thoughts and wandering.  I completely lost track of time and was baffled at how long I watched this pattern, and how many times they changed directions.  I thought to myself, “South is THAT way, guys!  Isn’t that instinctual?  Don’t you do this every year?  Every time you change directions, it’s that much longer ‘til you get some place warm for winter!”  I was also baffled that the light STILL hadn’t changed, but that’s another post…

Each time they changed directions, they must have changed “lead birds” too.  Are birds that hard up for smart cookies?  Or are there just too many cooks in the kitchen?  Either way, I felt sorry for all these followers flapping their wings, desperately wanting to land somewhere warm and tropical and catch their breath!  I wanted them to be free and get going in the right direction!

Something else interesting occurred as I watched enthralled by this nature play, seemingly staged for me only.  Every few seconds, two or three birds would break away from the group and head straight south, no wavering.  Even as they slowly peeled away, it barely made a dent in the mass of birds left in the lost throng still flitting back and forth like a giant pin ball.   It struck me, like the song Ants Marching by DMB, that we are all often like this, caught in the day to day grind of jobs, obligations, bills, and all the things that keep us captive to a life that’s really just dragging us around in circles.  The things that have us stuck in traffic during an hour long commute (second of the day) that keeps us away from our families, or the distractions of countless things that promise to bring us more happiness, health, wealth, time, gourmet food, and brighter, tighter skin.

I don’t want to be one of the birds lost in the crowd, counting on an unreliable leader to take me to some unknown happy place.  Or worse, not even know who my leader is.  I want to be one of the birds who goes his own way.  I want to be my own bird, and my little birds to be their own too.  Most importantly, I want to know where I’m going.

This is the year, kids.  This year, I crossed the threshold of my thirties and am looking ahead to many more changes and adventures.  This year I’m making a change.  I’m not sure what it is; I may still have a way to go before I’m out of the throng of confusion.  But this year...I’m getting out and I’m flying south.

Inspired and Itchy on a Tuesday

Seriously?  Miss Brandi and I started this project in August!  That's when I uploaded these pics to snapfish!
 
But FINALLY, thanks to Ry and Jer's gays and girls craft party we finished it!  And I was delighted to tote it to work today with lots of things in it!
With that finished and feeling inspired already, I had an errand to run this morning for work and ended up in Hallmark distracted by these lovely little things!
I'm ready to knit!!  Brandi, can you teach me?  Ry, can we have another learning party?  What about this lovely wrap with a delightfully fat button on it?  Think I could make one of those?  I might have to sew that one...
And, I'm in love with this hat, but I may have to buy that instead of attempting to make it.
Last but not least, thanks to Mrs. Hostutler's suggestion, I do believe I will enter this contest on L'il Blue Boo.  I think I will do one of my hold-you-me slings...
and add some embellishments!

Wish me luck!  I'm inspired and itching to create today!

Rt 66 Half Marathon (warning there may be foul language)

After running the 2010 Tulsa Run, I decided now was as good a time as any to run a half marathon.  The Tulsa Run is 9.3 miles and a half marathon is 13.1.  It's only 4 miles more, and if you can do 9, you can do 13.  I also was banking on the fact that I could very well get burnt out on running and training and I needed to take advantage of the momentum.  See, I have a history with running and marathons...

My last semester in college I actually decided to train for the Oklahoma City Memorial MARATHON, yes full marathon (26.2 miles).  As an education major at OU, my last semester was full with a teaching internship, and a graduate class.  I was also the coordinator for the Norman area Perspectives on the World Christian Movement class, as well as in leadership with my church, AND dating the boy who would later become my husband (and later become my ex-husband but that's a whooooooole 'nuther blog post!), SO it goes without saying I was pretty busy that semester.  Suffice to say I bit off more than I could chew and had a bit of a nervous breakdown in the middle of my second 10 mile run, and didn't engage in ANY form of exercise for about 6 months after that!  Since then I've secretly wanted to redeem myself, so I'm trying to do it the right way, slowly building up to that Mt. Everest of goals, the marathon.  One day we'll get there!

Here's my journey on November 21st.  After RUNNING to make it to the starting line on time, here I am, totally feeling like a fish out of water.  The marathon crowd is TOTALLY different from the Tulsa Run crowd.  It's hard to describe, but if you've been there, you know what I'm talking about. Feeling a little nervous...here we go! And a few miles down the road, it was time to start in on my run mix.  I needed it earlier in the game than I needed it for the Tulsa Run.
That was at about 3 miles.  A lot transpired between this and the next picture.  Like 7 miles.  I had several mind warps (or mind fucks if you wanna know what was REALLY being said in my head) during this race, and I psyched myself out a lot.  I was nervous about chaffing (never chaffed in my life until I ran 10.5 miles in training, so I knew I would in the race), about using gu for the first time (which you're not supposed to do), about taking my time to stop and stretch, about the weather (it was warmer and muggier than expected and not the most comfortable weather for long distance runs).  But the first real one was hitting the 15k marker and seeing the time.  The Tulsa Run was a 15k and I ran it in 1:35 this year, and by the time I made it to that mark, I was about 10 min behind my time.  Little discouraging, but I ate my gu, downed some water and kept going.

 
That picture was on Riverside, which is always a refreshing view.  That means, though, that I was already past 10 miles.  Mind fuck #2 happened right around the 10 mile mark when the route came back to the east side of the river and turned onto Riverside.  I saw a man on the ground receiving cpr from another race participant.  The terrible tragedy is that this 27 year old man, in incredible physical health, passed away.  It was a freak thing apparently, an unforseen heart condition and he died from cardiac arrest.  It was certainly jarring to see that as I ran by, and I felt panicked, not knowing quite what to do.  I heard someone on the phone calling for help, and saw an official race volunteer assure another runner that an ambulence was on its way, so I just kept going, and said a little prayer for the man in peril.

Thankfully, I knew encouragement was down the road.  The furthest I had run in training, and in my life was 10.5 miles, so I asked my brother to meet me on the route at that point.  My brother, the best big brother in all of history, rode his bike, with folding chair in tow, and raced along, meeting me at several different points on the route.  It meant so much to see him, my Marc, and others I hadn't expected, to cheer me on.  About the time I saw Jesse, I had Def Leppard on the run mix, got a hug, a drink, dropped my long sleeved shirt, got a hug, belted out some lyrics and got on my way.  I was definitely feeling the longevity of the race at this point.
Yeah, that face is partially because I was attempting to get a picture of myself while running, and also because I was just wanting to get to the finish line.  Not completely out of juice though.  And here comes mind fuck #3: seeing all those people pass you on the other side of the road, knowing they're that much closer to the finish line than you are.  I think it's pretty fitting that the picture is warbled because at that point, that's how you're feeling for sure.  Come mind fuck #4: seeing the 17 mile marker for the MARATHON participants.
Several miles back, the marathoners split from the half marathoners and we were running on our own.  At this point in the race they've joined back up with us, or will soon.  Even though I KNOW I'm not at 17 miles, I'm still thinking, "Shit!  Where the hell am I?  And where is the goddamn turn around?!!"  You start looking around you and making sure there are others with red bibs on (showing you're a half-marathoner), so you know you're still on the right track!

Thankfully this was just a couple of minutes before I reached the turn around.  "Ok, I can do it," I'm thinking, "just about a couple of miles left.  I can do this."  About this point in the race I saw my dear friend Brandi on the other side of the road, about to reach the turnaround herself.  We hugged and cheered each other on, and I felt energized.  At least enough to keep going to the end.  I stopped for a quick stretch and got on my way. 

Mind fuck #5, I hear sirens wooping, see motercycles go by, then a bicyclist with a flag ESCORTING the guy in the lead for the MARATHON.  Yeah, I still have at least a mile and a half to go to finish the 13.1 miles, and he's sprinting past me about to finish 26.2 miles.  Seriously? 

At this point I just want to FINISH, and I pass a sign that says, ".2 miles to go - how's that detour feel now?"  And I thought, "DAMN GOOD!!  I can do 2/10 of a mile!  Shortly thereafter I came to "Hard" by Rhianna on my iPod, saw Marc for the last time before the finish line, kicked it into gear, and sprinted across the finish line, singing, "I want it all!"

It felt good to finish.  It felt good to get my medal and know that I did it.  I did it because I can.  I was a little discouraged with my time and discouraged that I was so nervous and ended up not performing as well as I could have just because my brain was in the wrong mindset, but I finished.  I finished!  And not being satisfied just means I go for more.  I'm hoping to run the half marathon in the OKC Memorial Run in May of 2011, the one in which I intended to run the full marathon back in 2004.  Maybe one day I will, but for now I'll just focus on perfecting the half, and staying motivated in general.  Haven't done much (or any) exercise since the run, so I'll have to start by getting back on the band wagon!

Ten Days of Christmas - Day 1

Yes, yes, yes...I am taking a full 5 days of vacation this year.  Which, combined with the 2 weekends, becomes a grand total of NINE days free from work alltogether!  This may not mean much to some, but in the last 2.5 years I've been working (after being a stay-at-home-mom for 2.5), I've NEVER had this opportunity.  Usually I take a day here and there, maybe combine one with a 3 day weekend to get 4 days off, but for the most part they end up getting sucked away by sick days with my children!

I am grateful that my children have experienced less illness this year, and I'm grateful to get to take a week off with them over their Christmas break.  I'm saving money on daycare this week and we all get a break and time together.  I'm at a point in my life where lately I've felt really overwhelmed and guilty that my boys spend so much time in daycare.  Alec moreso than Aidan, since he's there for 10 hours/day.  But Aidan has long days too: very busy and full days at school, then aftercare.  Kids need breaks from their work too!

Knowing there is not really anything practical I can do to change my current work and daycare situation, I am again GRATEFUL to have this week ahead of us, and intend to make the absolute most of each day.  SO much so, that I'm counting yesterday (Friday) as Day 1 of my 10 days of Christmas, because officially my vacation started when I clocked out at the office yesterday around 5!

It was a low key evening but I treasured every moment with my boys.  Pretty quiet as we watched cartoons and ate leftover pizza (them), and caesar salad and leftover tomato basil soup (me).  Then, I made some apple crisp I've been saying I'd make for at least a week now!  Found this recipe online, and began peeling and coreing the apples.  Only thing I lacked were the full 10 cups of apples, and the baking soda and baking powder.  I'm sure with those the "crisp" part would have had more of a flakey cookie texture, but it was still delicious.  I put a little too much water in, which made an amazing caramel like sauce that would have been PERFECT over vanilla ice cream, which we have but I was unable to get to it.  Our freezer leaks water a bit, and pools and freezes down in the bottom, trapping anything in its path.  This week, it captured the carton of vanilla.  I substituted some whipped cream which was perfectly acceptable. 

I didn't enjoy the fruits of my labor until after bathtime, jammies, and nugglin' with my boys to watch the Peanuts Christmas special (the second in the series, not Charlie Brown Christmas), and tucking them in bed.  But it was a delightful little bedtime treat before snuggling up and drifting off to sleep myself.

On the list for Day 2 is blogging (presently), leisurely coffee (also presently), getting my eye brows threaded, visiting Nana and Papa, making banana bread and lasagne and whereever else the day takes us!!

Maybe I should add procuring a replacement camera battery charger.  I know I'm not going to want to experience the remaining 9 days of Christmas with ONLY my phone camera...

{my moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama

 

Happy Weekend Lovies!

This is how we do it, na na na na na naaaahhhhhh!

We all know Aidie started Pre-K at a real live “big school” this year…well at the beginning of the school year the school sent home a contract.  There were places for parent, student, teacher, and principal to sign, with pre-written statements each of those parties would agree to.  The student’s had to do with coming to class on time and prepared, as well as describing acceptable behavior.  The parent’s had to do with making sure the student got enough sleep, helping student arrive to school on time and prepared, and get this: reading to their student EVERY DAY.  Sounds easy enough right?  Most of us read to our kids regularly right? 

Ask yourself:  do you read to your kids regularly?  Regularly enough to be considered often?  Even if you read to your kids or WITH your kids OFTEN, would you say you do this daily?  Probably not.  I know I don’t (or didn’t if Mrs. Eakes is reading this). 

And IF you’re a parent you have learned how to multitask.  I bet since you sprouted offspring you have discovered a plethora of things you can do one handed with a baby on your hip!  Or how about NO handed when you have a baby on each hip??  Yeah, we rock.

Well here’s a little multitasking confession that’s worked wonders for our family.  Leaving the house early in the morning, working full time, dealing with the commute and dinner and cleaning and time-outing and spanking, etc, etc, etc, some nights it sure is hard to figure out how to squeeze in that reading time.  Here’s how we do it OFTEN.

Now, I’ve heard of some talk about combining dinner time with bath time and I honestly haven’t figured out practically how to accomplish that or exactly how that would be beneficial TO ME (envisioning drains clogged with chicken nuggets).  But bath time + book time = muy bueno at our place!!

I'd rather go fly a kite.

At the beginning of the summer, when Wal-Mart puts out those end caps with bubbles and jump ropes and chalk and other outsoorsy items, the boys talked me into buying them kites.  I consented; they're only a dollar afterall.  I didn't know when I'd get around to actually flying them with the munchkins, or how they would pester me day in and day out until I did!

Finally, months later after I thought they'd forget about them, Aidan finds one of the packages in the closet and starts up the begging again.  Gaaaahhhhh.  Fine.  Okay, I'll do it.  I decided that day I'd leave work a couple minutes early, pack up a picnic and take them to fly kites.  Thanks to Auntie Brandi's suggestion, we found the perfect wide open field around 61st and Garnett (if I'm remembering correctly).  Here's our adventure!

Quilt, check.  Picnic dinner, check.  Kite, check.Little punkin pie, still sweaty and dirty from school... 
Happy Campers Aidie wanted a picture of our sammies... Aidan was so excited he started flying the kite while it was still in the package!
Let's put that thing together first, kid.
Just put this part here, and click in that...
And stretch out that ribbon...woah, it's long!And off we go!!Alec stayin' behind with momma watchin' the action.  He's pretty happy with his chips.We didn't have a lot (or any) wind, but Aidan sure can run!  Alec decided to try his hand...Then bubba started chasing.Then little bubba was tired of running and came back for chips.  Go figure. 
 Aidie was NOT done though.  Here's the money shot:Another successful adventure, and a happy mommy!
 
If only every day could be a kite flying day...

{my moment}

Since {my moment} is about the only part of my blog I've been keeping up with consistently these days, here you go!

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama

 

Happy Weekend Lovies...

and Spideys!

 

{in breaking with tradition}

This week's {my moment} will not be following the rules because I simply must narrate the scene.  Thanksgiving morning was a busy one at our place: pancakes, ham and eggs, kids insisting on playing outside, grown-ups insisting on bundling them up, kids coming back inside because it's cold outside and there's frost on the trampoline, Macy's parade on the tube, stuffing, sweet & sour green beans, and bacon wrapped dates being made in the kitchen...

Then Aidan asks if he can work on his Christmas list for Santa.  Of course, I say, still buzzing around the kitchen.  Then I realize he's poised in his chair at the kitchen table, pen hovering over the paper, eyes fixed on me waiting for me to help him.  Heart melted, I wipe my grimey hands on my apron (you have to wear an apron when cooking Thanksgiving food), grab my coffee and join him at the table.

While I know he can't write all on his own, I know he's become very good at writing his alphabet, but I don't just want to tell him every letter.  I decide to sound out each letter and see if he can decipher them.  First on the list:  Ben Ten Legos (don't know if those even exist, but nonetheless...).  I begin to sound it out, "buh, eh, nuh, tuh, eh, nuh, la, eh, ga, o, ssss."  Sure enough, he knew every letter.  I almost cried.  His letters are all very good.  The only wonkey one is the s, which you can see in the picture.  "That's the best I can do on the s, momma."

"That'll work, buddy."

 

I hope you all had an amazing Turkey Day, and here's to kicking off the Christmas season!

Happy Weekend Lovies!