You can go your own waaaaaayyyyy...

I grew up with an ex-hippie mother, like the kind where my parents actually met on a commune, grew their own food, and birthed my brother with a midwife on the farm.  Not that that has a WHOLE lot to do with this entry’s title, but she did listen to a lot of Fleetwood Mac, and…I dig ‘em.

Some time late last fall, I was on my evening commute home from work and came to the stoplight at 41^st and Sheridan.  You know the one that is notoriously long, and if you’re headed south, like I usually am, you end up sandwiched in between Home Depot and Night Trips?  Yeah, there. 

On this particular day, as I sat, indefinitely, with NPR in the background, something quite ordinary caught my eye: a flock of birds.  It was rather large, and seemed to be hovering right over the intersection.  What was not so ordinary was their flight pattern.  Have you ever noticed birds when they change directions?  Sharp turns with ripple effects that mimic a stream or school of fish almost seem non-directional.  It’s fascinating, even mesmerizing.

As I was caught up in watching this flock of birds flutter and flicker in the sky above me, my mind was taken up in thoughts and wandering.  I completely lost track of time and was baffled at how long I watched this pattern, and how many times they changed directions.  I thought to myself, “South is THAT way, guys!  Isn’t that instinctual?  Don’t you do this every year?  Every time you change directions, it’s that much longer ‘til you get some place warm for winter!”  I was also baffled that the light STILL hadn’t changed, but that’s another post…

Each time they changed directions, they must have changed “lead birds” too.  Are birds that hard up for smart cookies?  Or are there just too many cooks in the kitchen?  Either way, I felt sorry for all these followers flapping their wings, desperately wanting to land somewhere warm and tropical and catch their breath!  I wanted them to be free and get going in the right direction!

Something else interesting occurred as I watched enthralled by this nature play, seemingly staged for me only.  Every few seconds, two or three birds would break away from the group and head straight south, no wavering.  Even as they slowly peeled away, it barely made a dent in the mass of birds left in the lost throng still flitting back and forth like a giant pin ball.   It struck me, like the song Ants Marching by DMB, that we are all often like this, caught in the day to day grind of jobs, obligations, bills, and all the things that keep us captive to a life that’s really just dragging us around in circles.  The things that have us stuck in traffic during an hour long commute (second of the day) that keeps us away from our families, or the distractions of countless things that promise to bring us more happiness, health, wealth, time, gourmet food, and brighter, tighter skin.

I don’t want to be one of the birds lost in the crowd, counting on an unreliable leader to take me to some unknown happy place.  Or worse, not even know who my leader is.  I want to be one of the birds who goes his own way.  I want to be my own bird, and my little birds to be their own too.  Most importantly, I want to know where I’m going.

This is the year, kids.  This year, I crossed the threshold of my thirties and am looking ahead to many more changes and adventures.  This year I’m making a change.  I’m not sure what it is; I may still have a way to go before I’m out of the throng of confusion.  But this year...I’m getting out and I’m flying south.

Comments

[Megan Schell]

Great writing. Really good.

I think the birds do have a Leader. They were made by their Creator and as much as they swerve left and right, he's made them to fly south and he feeds, clothes, and guides them along the way. How much more does our Creator care for us? Simple gifts like a long commute to watch a flock of birds or to dance your hand in the breeze are just the icing on the cake. He leads us to the still waters, he guides our path, he is a good, patient Shepherd, the Chief of all Leaders, including the bird in front.

Fly on the winds of grace and enjoy Him this year.

[Missy Rose]

You're absolutely right, Meg. Someone recently posted on fb a desperate and beautiful cry for God to return to our schools and make a change in our nation. I replied, simply, "He never left! We did!" It's like Much Afraid; all she was told to do was call the Shepherd's name and he would be there. He's always there, leading us, keeping our feet from stumbling. All we have to do remember...