It all started with battle number I-lost-count with a certain 4 year old this morning. I think the ignition point of the fight was when I told him he had to wear a shirt that matched the sweater vest he'd picked out to wear today. Yes, he wants to wear a sweater vest. Hey, yesterday he insisted on wearing the clip on tie from our recent family photo shoot along with a plaid button down and navy shorts. My mom and I agree he looked like the lead singer from AC/DC!
I digress. It was a rough morning. Complete with kicking and screaming in the laundry room (time out zone) and having his breakfast thrown away. Yet I arrived at work missing him. All I could think about was him saying good night to The Halloween Kid (new favorite book in our house) the night before, and all the fun we'd had together over the weekend. It got me pondering most of the day about the incredible roller coaster ride of parenthood. After exchanging a few emails with a dear friend about it wherein we shared the frustrations and stresses of raising little ones, I was reminded yet again that it's never going to be easy.
Now, I don't want to gloss over this reality in the cliche way we always do saying, "oh, it's a lot of work, but it's so worth it!!" [insert cheesy grin here] Although there is truth in that statement, or else it wouldn't be cliche! But there is the ever present tug and sadness that occurs once we create life from our own. There's never enough time for snuggles and story time because something else must be done. Cleaning, work, obligations to others...you name it. On the other hand, there's never enough time for discipline and teaching moments. Anyone out there really have enough time, or patience for that matter, to leave that screaming tot in time out in the morning when you really need to be rushing off to work? Or even deal with time out in the first place when you only have eye liner on one eye, pre-schooler's lunch isn't packed, and you're still running around in your underwear? And then you realize Thing 2 is still in his pull-up and has his shirt on backwards!!
Yeah, we give in, for our own sanity don't we? Or because we feel guilty for spending 10 hours away from them working our ever necessary full-time job. But then we insist on teaching, correcting and the such because it pains us to think we might take part in raising ungrateful and unruly children.
It's so much more than a balancing act, or a juggling act. It's like anything else in life. You make time. You just do. We can't afford to let any of the important parts fall by the wayside. We have to do it all. But the sweet part is it doesn't all happen at the same time. We just hope and we pray, and ask for help that we know when to lay into our kids and when to give them mercy. When to insist on taking a bath and getting to bed on time and when to skip bath and snuggle up on the couch and watch Wonderpets.
Tonight, praise the Lord, since dinner was miraculously not so much of a battle, I opted for the bath skip and Mommy Chair snuggle. Doesn't your heart melt and hurt when your little says, "Mommy will you come and watch T.V. with me?" So does mine. And seriously, when you walk over to him on the Mommy Chair and he scoots over to one side, patting the pillow beside him and says, "look Mommy, I saved this spot for you!" Then the other little hurries at the dinner table shoving the rest of his brownie down so he can gallop over and join. Yeah, you don't pass up moments like that!
I think the important part is that we feel the tug. We feel the concern and the constancy of wondering if we're doing the right thing, which we never are. Not completely anyway. As my sweet nephew has been learning in Cub Scouts, do your best.
I think I did my best today, I think. Can't wait to sneak in their room and see their sleeping faces and smell their puppy breath in the morning while they rub their sleepy eyes. First I've got to pack that dang lunch and check and see if Thing 1 has any homework in his folder...
I love all of your posts on family life. I think that people think they're horrible parents if they admit that it's stressful, hectic and hard at times. But that's the TRUTH! And how can you get support, or be supported, if you're being honest about your truth?
Being a parent is the hardest, but most rewarding, job in the world. You're doing an incredible job with your two munchkins.
Posted by: Ryan Arrowsmith | 11/19/2010 at 02:20 PM
thank you, sweetlove, so are you!
Posted by: Missy Rose | 11/19/2010 at 03:42 PM