It's All in the Family...or It Takes a Village?

I can't decide which is a better name for this post. Both convey the sentiment swimming around in my heart regarding this subject. A couple of years ago, respectively, when the glass ceiling came crashing down on my messed up little world, the entire concept I had held about family also began to transform drastically. When I got married and began a family, I was determined that I would right all the wrongs of my childhood, that my children would be raised in a strong family unit; their father and I would never create a broken home through divorce because we didn't want to repeat our pasts, or cause our children to grow up in the same drama filled worlds we'd experienced. I wish I'd seen so much sooner that our mere staying together as a married couple wasn't what would create a happy home life for our babies.

I remember so vividly the things my brother told me, in the days and weeks after I fled to my mothers house, children in tow, a week or so's worth of our belongings in my trunk. One of them was this, "your whole concept of family, and family for your boys is going to change." I didn't fully grasp everything he meant in that surreal moment, but I've come to truly own that statement over the last two years. My boys have two parents, living in two different cities. Two families, essentially, or one big one with many different facets depending on how you choose to look at it. Regardless of whether or not they have two parents in their home day in and day out, they have aunt and uncle, Mimi and Poppy, Grandpa, Nana and Papa, cousins, and on top of that my incredible friends to whom we refer as aunts and uncles as well. My children are surrounded by love and good things. They have so much support and love and hearts in which to seek refuge.

At least one evening a week, we have dinner at my mother's house. Every other week or so, we spend the afternoon and evening at my brother's house, and eat and let our children play together. I also get together often with what I call my second family, or urban family as Bridget Jones would have it. This consists of two other couples who have children, my neighbor and her son, my girlfriends from work and anyone else who needs a place to be. We pool together our food and fun, feed each other's children, and hang out...as a family. Our children bathe together and we get them ready for bed before everyone goes home to crash. These are the people I lean on. These are the people that influence me and influence my children. These are the people who depend on me for love and affection and care, and vice versa. That's family. My children do not lack for arms to hold them, laps to sit on, or people to read them stories. I firmly believe and know they will be raised well rounded, open minded, loving and thinking adults because of the rich wealth of knowledge and experience and love poured out over them.

We are blessed, and I'm thankful. Here's so you know what I'm talking about...

Cousins.