It's no surprise that parenthood is difficult. Also no surprise that it's incredibly rewarding. It really seems to be a constant fluctuation between adoring your children and wanting to get as far away from them as possible!
Ideally, when you're a single parent, and when you have an ex who is a cooperative and dependable co-parent, you get every other weekend to yourself. Sounds like a dream right? Well...sort of...I just never seem to know what to do with myself. I have fantasies of getting all my errands run, completely remodeling my home, sewing everything I can think of, getting massages and mani-pedis, going on exciting adventures to museums and concerts, and...often I end up doing none of those! I just slllloooooowwww waaaaayyyyy doooowwwwnnnn.
I still wake up early. Then I just lie in bed. Do you have any idea how rewarding it is to just get to sit still? The freedom to lie in bed, and not even sleep. Mind-blowing!!! Normally, that would be such a waste of time. Single moms don't waste time. Multi-tasking is not an add-on for overachievers, it's a way of life. It's like breathing. If you're in bed you're sleeping and achieving desperately needed rest. If you can't sleep, you get up and do a few of the fifteen loads of laundry waiting for you, or dishes, or sort through your catch-all pile. So, having the opportunity to leave my home messy for a full 48 hours and not have to worry about the kids getting into things and just veg out is a treat!
Then there are times where that feels really weird. It's such a strange twilight zone feeling that's difficult to describe to people. Yes, I miss my kids, but that's not it. I am definitely grateful to have a break and have room to breathe and relax, but when you so rarely get to do that, it's just strange. Last year I spent my first holiday without my kids on Thanksgiving and felt so uncomfortable at home I had to go spend the evening with friends, which was a delight (thank you, Ryan and Jeremy my loves!). One weekend when the kids were gone, I ended up on a party trolley with a driver named scoobie and a cacophony of drunken friends and was unable to get back to my car (totally annoyed because scoobie and I were the only sober ones). When I finally did get home, I had never been so happy to be home alone being completely boring!
It's a learned skill, relaxing. It's a discipline learning to pamper yourself and take care of yourself. That's a reason I started this blog. I am determined to be my own person, and not be confined to motherhood as my identity. I fight and struggle to make time for myself and make choices to ignore laundry in the evenings and work sudoku puzzles, read books, watch movies and indulge in other activities that are for me and only me, that I don't have to share with my children.
It's almost 1:PM on a Saturday, and I'm still not completely sure how I'm going to spend the rest of the day. And it feels great to not know, and know that I don't have to decide! At some point I think I'll workout, and not have to rush through it, or worry about getting interrupted by a kids club worker telling me my two year old has taken off his diaper in the bathroom and needs my assistance! Then, who knows...maybe I'll go over to my mom's and enjoy some cable, and let her make me a grilled cheese. Here's to learning the art of relaxing!
Yes grasshooper, first must you learn art relaxationing.
First buy small hookah at local headshop.
Also buy small amount hookah tobacco that sounds like tasting good.
Don't forget screen for cover tobacco bowl or easy lighting coals.
Then fill hookah base water & ice about 1/3rd full.
Place tobacco in bowl (wipe fingers-hookah tobacco gooey) cover with screen
Light coal on stovetop.
While waiting coal for suffeciently heating ( covered light ash, glow when gently blow on) Grab or prepare for your indulgence adult beverage of choice.
Place coal on hookah
Inhale - release (ahh, see tension leaving already)
Take sip adult beverage (ahh more tension leaving)
This ritual very good for relaxation & enhanced when accompanied with friend.
If assitance need to perfect ritual, you come galveston, Kris, Sara, & Grand Poobah help you perfect.
Posted by: Reb Bear | 03/27/2010 at 03:42 PM
is this advice from you or yoda?
Posted by: Missy Rose | 03/28/2010 at 09:51 AM