I feel exercise is important and essential to our well being, both mentally and physically. Last fall, once my youngest had turned two, I ran out of excuses not to get healthy. My kids were born 16 months apart, so I didn’t exactly lose the first baby’s weight before getting pregnant with the second. I rode the breastfeeding train for a while, which naturally burns calories and helped me shed some pounds. Then the divorce train just helped me stop eating altogether! But once the dust settled and I began feeling happy and comfortable in my life, my pants started getting tighter, and I decided that exercising was cheaper than replacing my entire wardrobe on my shoestring single mom budget!
I set a goal to run the Tulsa Run, which is an annual 15k race in my town. I figured it was a good way to redeem myself from never running the marathon I trained for in college. (I had a bit of a nervous breakdown after the second time I ran 10 miles, and had never really run since!) At first, I was just going to enter the 5k race, but after a few weeks of training, I realized I was already running 3 miles regularly. Since I had a couple of months left to train, I thought I’d go ahead and shoot for the full 15k. I never let up on my regimen. 2-3 shorter runs during the week, then a long one on the weekend. Endorphins kicked in, clothes started fitting better, my mood was lifted, and I felt so empowered.
This was the first thing in three and a half years (the age of my older son) that was just for me. I didn’t have to share it with my children, or anyone else for that matter. I didn’t tell very many people about my choice, and I definitely didn’t want a partner. I just wanted to do it because I could. Because I can.
I didn’t even particularly care who was there to watch me. I didn’t need a cheering section; I had my own heart and soul to keep me going, and the sound of my breath as my background music. Sadly, I don’t have any pictures to share with you. It almost seems like it would taint the experience to document it in any other way than the pictures in my mind and the myriad of sensory experiences from the day.
Strangely enough, after an encounter constructed purely for myself, the only people I really wanted to see at the finish line were my babies. They were standing on the sidelines about 5 minutes away from the finish line, and their smiles and cheers of excitement were just what I needed to sprint to the finish. Even after running 15k in an hour and 45 minutes, I’ve never felt more strength with which to pick up both of my boys. I was exhilarated and had so much energy and love spilling out of me to pour on them.
We left the race to prepare for trick or treating that night, and had a full day and night of activity—it was the best Halloween of my life.
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